saying goodbye

So when I was younger, like when my brothers were just starting college, saying goodbye to people was SO hard for me. Even last year when I had friends graduate, it was incredibly hard for me to deal with.
But for some reason, it seems so much easier this year. So many people have left recently, and many are leaving soon for college. Yeah, when I really think about it, I makes me sad. But before I used to dwell on it, and be really depressed for long durations of time. However, I had to say goodbye to my brother last night not knowing when I would see him again, same with my other brother a week ago, and same with my really good friend Emily today. I had to say goodbye to Tjitske a couple months ago not knowing when I'd see her either and my neighbors moved away. Now of course saying goodbye makes me sad, but I think I've done it so much lately that it's losing it's meaning or something. I don't really know how to say it. It's like I'm unaffected by it anymore. I don't like that I'm not, I wish I could feel something, but I just don't allow myself for some reason.
So to all that have left lately, don't take how I act personally. I know I'll miss you even if I don't show it. We will stay in touch. This I know for sure.
Love to all.