And I don't like it one bit.
I'm so torn up.
The one thing that has been a part of my life for the last 6 years may be eliminated tomorrow.
That would leave me with such an emptiness, but at the same time, it may be for the best. I just don't know. I've cried my heart out today about it. It breaks me up so much to imagine not getting up for jazz in the morning. The relationships I've created through that, the strength I've gained, the rush of being on the stage... all gone. But with all this politics crap going on, it just makes it so hard to enjoy it at the same time. So I don't know what to do.
And my two best friends... no matter how much I see them during the day, I can't seem to feel the same connection I once had with them. I want to talk to them, but I can't work up the courage. It's been tearing me up since before school even started, and it's just getting worse. But I just CAN'T talk to them about it. I'm so weak.
I feel so on my own right now. Besides my parents, and my once-a-week time with Jon, I feel like I have no one. Everyone I once felt so close to... I feel so distant, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to confront them.
I'm not happy. I need a change. But I don't know how.
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